Poor Imp

Imp, you should probably know that you would've gotten 2nd, but you deviated from the form. The first line of this should've been " sanctus , sanctus , spills" according ...

Kitty: Thank you. 'Tis pleasant to think I pulled off the structure that has annoyed you previously without annoying. ^_~ Clau: Ack, yes - you've hit two points on punctuation. ...

Moved to Fantasy Fiction . (As you've now got prologue and chapters up, Hermes, it belongs in the Lit. Forums. If you ever need a critique, feel free to PM ...

Oh, me likes the indents :D [I think "played" and "punished" are in the same tense as "captured" and "lived", as past participles, where they're not solid preterite tense, but ...

Ah, see what you mean, Amelia. ^_^ In fact, it's lovely that way. But I think, still, the punctuation doesn't quite imply the switch-up. I wonder if staggering the lines ...

Spatulas. Ah. ...Spatulas? Amusing all the same. ^_^ More TW, more Fred, more CCF, si? (Dai, Adam, dov'e nostro don? E c'e la famiglia - tutti. ^_^) IMP

Thanks for the review heh. The first attempt at this subject i made, I got shot down for giving the kid a history and a description and all that. Now ...

First of all, Thank You So Much!!! I've been a wreck waiting for someone to reply to my story. And I know its not the best but thanks alot for ...

Ach, DD, I'm well served for posting the feint Presque Vu link. I did think, almost, you'd posted here... !_! ^_^'' IMP

NM -- don't worry about it, by any means. IF you get more critiques with the same thoughts, just take them as confirmation that when you get to it, those ...

No need of doing it immediately . Think it over and when you're ready to keep writing, go over the first bit and touch it up before you go on ...

I know it can be hard to get up the courage to post something, especially when it feels close to you still. But usually, even the the writers who have ...

okay. is it a little better then before? It's very slightly neater, NM. But it hasn't changed much at all. As Meep has noted, it needs quite a bit of ...

Hey Sokool - as requested, quite happy to look over it more fastidiously. ^_^ You have a nice sense of pacing on sentences; well-varied, especially for the first paragraph. People ...

Oy, the condensed hilarity is rather too much for late hour - early in the morning, that is. ^_^ You do quite a job of it, Clau. I hope Brad ...